Colonel Panic.

New mood!

2007-10-09T05:36:10Z

I invented a new word and I needed to use it as my mood. Use it as yours as well. Make up a meaning for it. I'm still working on mine. Adios.

-ColonelShouldUpdateSoon

Open letter to Dashboard Confessional

2007-09-10T20:38:39Z

Dear DC,

I missed you in Columbus a few years ago. It was a student's only show for OSU students, and at that point, I wasn't a student. I was bummed. But I won't make the same mistake twice. Too bad Something Corporate (well, Jack's Mannequin, but whatever) won't be with you this time around, but your set is completely acoustic, which makes up for it. Was your Columbus set all-acoustic too? I don't think so. But anyway, look out for me on October 3rd. I'll have a ladyfriend in tow. Adios.

- ColonelPanic

P.S.: I will be seeing The Spill Canvas in November as well. Happy Birthday to me.

Well done LAX

2007-08-16T20:18:16Z

http://www.engadget.com/2007/08/16/network-card-crash-leaves-17-000-stranded-at-lax/

As a nerd, this is just saddening to me. Adios.

-ColonelHOWTHEHELLDOESTHATHAPPEN?!?!?

Why Zack shouldn't do MadLibs

2007-08-15T01:39:39Z

Yesterday my class took a field trip to Craptown, NY. We had a really horny time. The guide showed us one ostrich, at least 7 cocks, and a very wide urethra.

Michael Jackson had an accident. He shat over the vibrator and banged into Barbara Streisand. She fell against a big yellow grape and put her condom through the buttplug. We all pounded!

The trip was even more supple than a day at school.

A little warm

2007-08-12T19:09:52Z

http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/37013?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_undeclared

I've seen this kind of forecast for places like AZ and NM before, but TN?!? An inconvenient truth indeed. Adios.

- ColonelHotAsHell

Not stupid!!!

2007-07-22T00:04:55Z

<a href="http://www.stupidtester.com/ref.html">
<img src="http://www.stupidtester.com/badge/cb9100bbc564a567.jpg" alt="StupidTester.com says I'm 0% Stupid! How stupid are you? Click Here!">
</a>

Fuck yeah bitches. Yay for wasting time with retarded quizzes filled with your run-of-the-mill trick questions. And yay for pwning it. And props to Nikki for help with one.

Also - Exodus the Samurai Kitty has arrived! Pictures forthcoming, after my mini-shuriken arrive from eBay. Adios.

- ColonelWithKitty

P.S.: We got a second kitty as well, but it's not nearly as cool and I have already disowned it.

P.P.S.: I was kidding about the shuriken. Although it would be cool.

My wife is a little horndog

2007-06-30T05:29:27Z

"If all of them wore tight-fitting jeans and were shirtless, I would have been a professional wrestling fan LONG ago!"

Why don't you just go MARRY pro wrestling, wife? Harumph.

In any regard, this weekend = gonna be productive. Lots of planning the next several months and beginning to do things that need to get done. Oh, which reminds me of another great find, Remember the Milk. A great web-based app used to organize your to-do lists, can invoke via e-mails, give tasks due-dates, great interface, etc. I'm gushing, but it's excellent. It's a beta, so keep that in mind, but I haven't had any issue with it yet.

Speaking of sweet applications, thanks to Paul of Simplify Media for the comment and the info - I hadn't run into the issue that he had mentioned, so maybe I'm just lucky. Used it all day today, with no latency issues to speak of - a minor loading time at some points in-between songs, but that happens with regular LAN-shared iTunes libraries too, so nothing real out of the ordinary there.

Anyway, both of these are free, as is the majority of software that I use nowadays. There's a crapload of excellent free/open-source software out there, and you can really do everything you want with your PC with all of it (with the exception of playing retail games, for the most part). Definitely worth looking into if you're sick of paying for software.

Time for bed - after Playmania... or, rather, quiznation. Guilty pleasure for sure. Adios.

-ColonePanic

SimplifyMedia

2007-06-28T23:10:37Z

http://www.simplifymedia.com/

Oh yeah. Will force me to import more music to my PC, since I actually have access to it now. Support on the way for Winamp and Windows Media Players? You spoil me, SimplifyMedia. You just *spoil* me.

Tested and confirmed w/me (behind corporate network) streaming music from Nikki's laptop (behind a NAT'd router AND connected to her own corporate VPN). Solid, Jackson. Now if only Bluff Magazine's coverage of the WSOP HORSE final table would continue. Adios.

-ColonelPanic <- Screenname for Simplify if anyone wants it. Warning: my music selection is still a bit spotty on my new system, with most of it being OCRemix songs.

D.B. Cooper

2007-06-28T16:33:34Z

Ever hear this story before? I haven't, and I thought it was pretty wild, and I'm not selfish because my 1st grade teacher told me not to be. So here you go, courtesy of Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D._B._Cooper

Time to go to work. Yay for faux power outages! Adios.

-ColonelPanic

www.allrecipes.com = OMG

2007-06-26T23:28:54Z

Only the BEST recipe website EVER. And now you can sort your search results by ratings? Shut up, allrecipies.com. Just. Shut. Up. I gotta go make meatballs. 4.5 stars over 355 reviews? Yes plzzz. Adios.

-ColonelCulinary

Working through it

2007-06-25T14:23:12Z

Ever have this big, drawn-out issue that you just couldn't figure out? Something concrete, like a math problem, or a computer system error. And how there is someone (or maybe many someones?) that you know would know the answer to the issue, and you thinking about asking them, but decide not to and drudge on on your own? And you try everything you can think of, and then you think of new things and try those, until you finally figure out the answer? And the sense of gratification you get from it? Yeah. I've got that x3 today, and in about 5 minutes, if everything goes according to plan, I'll have it x4. I'm very excited about my effort - it wasn't much, but it took a lot to come to the conclusions that I did and keep trying and keep trying and not give up and [insert motivationan snippet here]. Granted, it cost me my ENTIRE Sunday, but what can you do. Judgment time. Adios.

-ColonelAccomplished

**EDIT:** Make it x4. w00t. Also - a big F-U to Columbus for having another great concert after I leave. The Fray + OK Go + Mae? Kiss my ass. At least we have the Opry. Oh, and Def Leppard + REO Speedwagon + Styx a few weeks after that?!? Now you're just mocking me. I think I'll be moving back to Columbus now.

Hot panda love

2007-06-22T14:40:23Z

Dude, if you need some sexual pointers, look no further than pandas. They have excellent rhythm, and, from what I can tell, they finish well.

Let me explain. I use Deepest Sender, an LJ client for Firefox. When I start an entry, it saves the title/text until either A) I erase it, or B) finish/send it. Apparently, I was about to post this as an entry, and I am not quite sure why - disturbing, to say the least. Maybe I watched something on TV, who knows. I'm gonna go find a shrink. Adios.

-ColonelMentalIssues

Oh crabapples

2007-06-12T03:39:04Z

Concerning getting up tomorrow morning:

http://pluto.spaceports.com/~thanatos/war2/sounds/humans/peasant/annoyed6.wav

Amazing how much fun you can have with a Warcraft II soundboard. Peasants pwnd in that game. And anyone who can keep up "a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch" consistently is either A) anorexic or B) masochistic. And I'm jealous, because I can't. But I'makeepa tryin'. And if all else fails, Wendy's is right around the corner from my job. w00t. Adios.

-ColonelPeasant

Iron Tank?

2007-06-06T18:55:28Z

Am I the only person who liked this NES game? That and Jackal and P.O.W. were some of the classics, but I'm the only one who thinks so. That and Tecmo Super Bowl - remember the sad music when a player got injured? It was deep.

I thought I had more than this, but I'm reaching, and... nope, nothing. Everyone's got to pollute the Internet a bit sometimes. Adios.

-ColonelPanic

This may be the best thing ever

2007-06-01T19:37:53Z

http://kotaku.com/gaming/rock-band/harmonix-mtv-ea-to-bring-us-rock-band-248792.php

I will purchase a PS3 just for this. And FFXIII of course. But this too. I will have to grow 2 more cocks, so I can rock out with all of them out. Because 1 just isn't enough for this game. Adios.

-ColonelRockstar

Tuesday is the new Monday

2007-05-29T21:00:19Z

I love it when Pandora plays the exact song that I wanted to hear (in this case, "First Night" by The Hold Steady). I also love peppercorn ranch salad dressing. But I *hate* baseball cards.

I will use my exercise bike one day. That day may not be this year or decade. But I will use it.

Everyone reading this is invited to a makeshift casino trip in September, at the Argosy Casino near Cincinnati. You know you wanna come. Plenty of alcohol and buffet food to be had by all. Oh, and gambling too. Shoot me an e-mail if you're in and I'll get you the dates, hotel recommendations, etc.

Ever scan a mirror? I've seen the results - it looks pretty wicked, but I don't know if it's safe to do. It would be good to test with a crappy scanner, but I wouldn't recommend it since I'm not sure of the aftereffects.

I'm getting kittens soon. Nikki gets to name one, and I get to name one. Any name ideas? I was thinking Exodus. Nikki will roll with Neko, the name of the purple cat who shows up everywhere in the Secret of Mana SNES game and peddles his wares, also allowing you to save. Good choice, but mine is better. And yours might be better still.

I thought I had gallbladder problems, but I went to the doctor and it was just an infection. It hurts like 3 mothers, but at least I don't need surgery. And I got an ultrasound! Those are fun.

Enough of this madness. I got ish to do. Adios.

- ColonelRandom

Lucky You

2007-05-11T20:09:50Z

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9e/Lucky_you.jpg

This is the promo poster from the not-so-hit movie, "Lucky You", where Eric Bana tries to win a big poker tourney. The funny thing is, the hand that is shown in the poster is Jack-King offsuit, better known as Jack-King Off in-game. The reference is obvious, and one would think that those working on a movie that was so in-tune with the game would have noticed this terrible faux-pas.

I'm glad the movie flopped (no pun intended) - it tried too hard to be a romantic love story, WAY too hard to be an intellectual poker flick, and failed on both counts. But it's better than Newsies. Barely. Adios.

- ColonelGigglingAtJackKingOff

P.S.: Why is it that I feel like crap when I overeat, and then I do it anyway? It's silly. I'm silly. Clowns are also silly.

<I>"...and when they get injured, it's funny." - Demetri Martin</I>

Domestic dispute

2007-05-06T12:10:26Z

http://www.pbase.com/keithrankin/image/58054867 - linking because it's a copywritten image from Keith Rankin, a photographer (as you could have guessed). Not sure what the rest of his work looks like, but I will be checking it out for sure.

Also - great game... scan through the "guide" of your satellite/cable TV service, and look for shows whose names are too long. If it's like my service, there will be an ellipsis, but it just might cut off the show name as well. The goal is to finish the show name in the most absurd way possible. The rules are dependent on the players, of course, and the game would likely be best played drunk or stoned or both. But give it a go one morning - it could yield such new shows as "Awakening of the Narcoleptic Englishman" and "Koppel: Our Children's Children's Drugs of Choice". Sunday mornings rule. Adios.

-ColonelWishesHeWasAsleep

If I eat Kashi cereal with fat-free soy milk...

2007-05-02T22:48:52Z

...does that make me pretentious? A health-nut? Or a large man who feels better about himself and his weight by consuming "lean" and "organic" foods? You be the judge. But at least it's a step in the right direction.

If you moved to a city where you had never been, weren't in school and didn't work with anyone who shared your interests, how would you go about making friends there? What if you weren't a big fan of bars and clubs? Any suggestions? And no, I will not buy friends. Unless they're cheap. We're talking a-pack-of-Juicy-Fruit cheap.

Ever since the wedding, Nikki and I really realized how much we miss directly interacting with friends, since we really never had a chance to make any down here. Unless you bitches move down here, we're kind of in a tough situation. Ah well, something will come up. Maybe we'll join some kind of group or club here. Who knows. <DENIAL>Bleh, who has time for friends anyway?</DENIAL> Gotta finish el dayo de worko. Adios.

-ColonelNotAGoodSpanishSpeaker

Copag EPOC playing cards

2007-04-27T23:03:35Z

Copag EPOC playing cards. Only the coolest looking cards in the freaking world. You know you want them. Best deal at http://www.chessset.com/copagepoc.html - pricey at $14.95 for 2 decks, but tell me you've seen cards like that before. Tell me. Plastic cards, so they won't get frayed and worn nearly as quickly as your deck of Bicycles.

Word of warning: it's VERY hard to distinguish between the two decks in the set since each has a nearly identical background - only difference is the border surrounding the graphic (it's white/red depending on the deck - the picture above shows the red deck). So don't get them mixed up!

I'm gonna go home and touch my cards. Adios.

-ColonelEnamored

Gliese 581 c

2007-04-25T21:43:42Z

Guess what? A potentially habitable planet, named Gilese 581 c, was discovered recently, with the announcement of the discovery coming earlier this week. Did you know about it? Probably not. Not because you're stupid or illiterate, but unless you are a bit of a news buff and dig around, you wouldn't know. Major headline? Hardly. It's tucked away in the "Science" section of cnn.com, part of the "quote of the day" on reuters.com, and non-existent on the New York Times website. Now I understand this announcement was not made today (it was made yesterday, I believe), so it's not "breaking news" - but still, don't you think the POSSIBLE SALVATION OF EVERY LIVING THING ON THE FREAKING PLANET is enough to make it a top story for at least a few days? Nah, we have more important things that we need to know, such as Rosie O'Donnell's tragic departure from The View, and Sheryl Crow's war cry against global warming, urging everyone to use "only one square [of toilet paper] per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". Nothing against Rosie or Sheryl in the least, but compared to the opportunity for advancement for all known life, it seems like a bit of a mismatch. Maybe I'm just being cranky again, but that's what I think.

Anyway, back to work. Adios.

-ColonelProbablyCranky

Excellent article

2007-04-24T21:31:42Z

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/24/navarrette/index.html

This gentleman states that it is extremely hypocritical to shy away from using slurs in the media, specifically citing the words "n*****" and "f**", while journalists openly use the Mexican slur "w******". But, if you will notice, he refers to the 2 former slurs as "the n-word" and "the f-word", but used the full "w******" within his own article!

Now I know what you're thinking: "he was just quoting others, trying to uphold the integrity of the quote; there's nothing wrong with that." And you would be right to think that, in my opinion. Until you realize that he wrote the following in the same article:

New York Times columnist Frank Rich wasn't all that careful. In arguing that offensive speech shouldn't be censored, Rich wrote that we should "let Bill O'Reilly talk about 'wetbacks.' ..."

Oh, hello. That is exactly how Rich wrote it -- wetbacks. So what that he was quoting someone else. That's no excuse. If that someone else had used the long version of the n-word, you had better believe that Rich would never have printed it in his column.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU JUST DID WITH THE WORD, DOUCHEBAG?? In fact, the word is found in full four times in his article, which he is lampooning other journalists for doing! In fact, one of the instances ISN'T EVEN IN A DIRECT QUOTE!!!!!

Well done, sir. Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong on all of this. I must be - someone couldn't be so absolutely asinine... could they? Adios.

-ColonelP****

2 things

2007-04-23T04:13:06Z

1) It really fucking pisses me off that our country has a super knee-jerk reaction to... oh, I don't know... EVERYTHING. Let's face it: there are fucked-up people, and regardless of how much we restrict and limit and secure everything, they will still be fucked-up. And they will still be able to hurt and kill people. Is it tragic? Of course, that goes without saying. But is one anomaly enough to assume that this-factor or that-factor needs to be completely overhauled or locked-down in some way? I'm sure that many people disagree with me, but I think we can just say that the VT shooter was a crazy individual who did some crazy shit, some sad shit, but crazy nonetheless, and does not mean that the majority of normal people should have to be scrutinized or altered in any way other than directly via the incident itself.

2) If I watch "Talk Sex" on Oxygen and giggle when I hear Sue say "amniotic sac", does that make me immature?

-ColonelBedtime

Deal of the century

2007-04-21T16:14:26Z

Look online at any major store - Walmart, Target, OfficeMax, etc. - and try to find 8 padded folding chairs, along with 2 square folding tables, for $15 altogether. Garage sales pwn. Props to my parents for spotting this one. Everyone take bets on how much useless crap I come home with besides the tables/chairs. Adios.

-ColonelAwesomeDeal

Killing me with kindness

2007-04-20T15:46:41Z

Have you ever worked in an office, or a store, or somewhere with interaction with other people? If so, then you have inevitably had food brought in at some point, maybe often, maybe by the same person. "That person". The nice woman who always brings in donuts or gets pizza for the office "just because". Why not a fruit tray? Or maybe some salad, or lean turkey sandwiches with wheat bread and low-fat mayo. Nope. And it's always in the MOST accessible/visible areas, like the break room or on someone's desk. At least hide it from me!! If I see it, I have it. The old-school "seafood/see-food diet" joke, yeah, that came from me. It's just a bummer. I'm gonna go enjoy my donut now. Adios.

-ColonelNoWillpower